Mz Personal - Applicant Ph.D. Economics - Fall 2013
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STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
The area of my interest is anything that has a lot of Greek symbols and makes me feel like I know more than anyone about a subject no one cares about. If selected for a PhD at the Great American University, I want to start understanding what these symbols stand for. In the short term my career goal is to make a stipend which is more than my salary in INR. In a few years' time I want to earn a title of doctor which will justify my claim that I had a plan in my mind all the many years that I did not have a consistent career. In the long term, everyone will leave me alone.
2\6 [education]
Throughout my education I have taken many courses in linear algebra, matrix algebra, methods of induction, conics, proof based calculus, multivariate differential and integral calculus and differential equations, 3-D calculus and thus have constantly been wondering if I was inside one of those never-ending nightmares where you keep falling. In preparation for a doctoral study I am in conversation with Professor Semiponnu of the Indian Statistical Institute who has agreed to write to you to say that I understand the title of the book he published, if I clean his motorcycle every day for six months.
In course of my dual master's degree from The School Indulged in Parties and Affair (TSIPA), Bigapple University and The Asian Version, Some University Notaversetoidiots (SUN), I studied International Economic and Monetary Finance with esteemed academics such as Prof. Bigshot Prezadvisor and Prof Eximf Economist.
Two experiences influenced my understanding of Monetary Finance greatly.
I was sitting in an exciting class on International Financial Markets at SUN and was dozing when I suddenly understood that the Greek Letters are not a language but stand as symbols for something else like bread and noodles. Consequently I unregistered myself from the class in Classic Greek.
The other was a class on Latin American crises taught jointly by Professors Raremoneymakingeconomist Whorunsahedgefund and Prof Thelawyerwho Knowshowtomakemoney. Like other professor who have ever taught me anything, they also listened to my questions and observation patiently, smiled at me and each other, and patted me on my back. I think they think I am smart.
Throughout my education I have taken many courses in linear algebra, matrix algebra, methods of induction, conics, proof based calculus, multivariate differential and integral calculus and differential equations, 3-D calculus and thus have constantly been wondering if I was inside one of those never-ending nightmares where you keep falling. In preparation for a doctoral study I am in conversation with Professor Semiponnu of the Indian Statistical Institute who has agreed to write to you to say that I understand the title of the book he published, if I clean his motorcycle every day for six months.
In course of my dual master's degree from The School Indulged in Parties and Affair (TSIPA), Bigapple University and The Asian Version, Some University Notaversetoidiots (SUN), I studied International Economic and Monetary Finance with esteemed academics such as Prof. Bigshot Prezadvisor and Prof Eximf Economist.
Two experiences influenced my understanding of Monetary Finance greatly.
I was sitting in an exciting class on International Financial Markets at SUN and was dozing when I suddenly understood that the Greek Letters are not a language but stand as symbols for something else like bread and noodles. Consequently I unregistered myself from the class in Classic Greek.
The other was a class on Latin American crises taught jointly by Professors Raremoneymakingeconomist Whorunsahedgefund and Prof Thelawyerwho Knowshowtomakemoney. Like other professor who have ever taught me anything, they also listened to my questions and observation patiently, smiled at me and each other, and patted me on my back. I think they think I am smart.
I studied econometrics with Prof. Yetanother Greateconomist at SUN, for which I received an A+. It took inviting him to eight dinners and 20 hours of listening to his family woes. I also studied econometrics with Prof. Thirdauthorof Thetextbook at TSIPA who once openly expressed his complete shock and dismay about my being in his course.* I think he thinks I deserved much better. Both these teachers were very smart and made a course curriculum that I can send to Economics schools like yours. If you read it you will think I know a lot, but in reality, with people like me in their class, they were not able to go past page 2 of any of the readings.
3\6 [work and research experience]
In Aug 2011 I finished an internship in Investment Banking with a leading infrastructure finance company in India where I found out that some people, who have studied only till high school, make many times more money than you make. Precisely because they are good at typing very fast without making errors and they don't know or care too much about the problems of this world. They call them traders and worship them. Did you know this before you chose your career?
Since February 2012 I am working as a Research Associate with a Small Research Center Funded by an Ivyleague Prof. (SRCFIP) for a project funded by the Gatesandwindows Foundation, that studies something no one else will. Or should. I am working under the guidance of Prof. Whofundsthis Centre, Ivy League University.
At SRCFIP for the first time I came to know that graphs can also have numbers on the straight up and the sideways lines. At TSIPA and SUN we never had any numbers on the graphs.
My work at SRCFIP has directly inspired my interest in PhD. It took me three months to figure out what the project is about and five more to figure out that I cannot do it. So I needed to leave before they caught up. I also realized that at my current saving rate it will take me 102 year and 11 months to repay the loans I took to study at the Bigapple University. Around the same time I also realized that universities are big and old and thus good places to hide.
4\6 [why Great American Uni?]
Through graduate education and work, I realized the need for more training in Economics and Mathematics to reveal my true potential and reach my goals. Of the places I am considering for my doctoral studies in Economics, Great American University is my first choice for many reasons.
At Great American University, I will learn from, and perhaps collaborate with researchers like Professor Ohmyhe Iscute and Prof. Ohmyshe Ishot.
Professor Ohmyhe Iscute the nobel laureate once gave a talk at SUN and during this talk he spoke looking in my direction. Of course he realized how smart I am. I went up to ask him some questions after the talk. He smiled at me and patted me on my back. I think he thinks I am very intelligent. Now that I think of it he never actually said anything to me.
Prof. Ohmyshe Ishot has been my goddess for many years since I saw a pic. of her on your university website. I can easily say she is the best looking professor in America. I know she also does some Economics research.^
At Great American University, I will have some of the brightest people from around the world as classmates and colleagues. In company of such colleagues, my superpower of invisibility becomes overcharged. These bright people seem to never be able to see that I am standing near, even in front of them. Or hear what I am saying for that matter. I do even better than Bilbo Baggins who could be heard when he was invisible.The courses at Great American University are geared toward a strong base needed for rigorous research. Such as Math Camp. I think I will take it for a whole semester. The special focus on workshops and seminars in Monetary Economics/ Macroeconomics make the PhD at Great American University an ideal place for me. No home work.
And above all, you guys may actually pay me a stipend to live in your beautiful city for many years. If I was to try and look for jobs on my own, no one will give me even a janitor's job in that place.
5\6 [why me?]
I have demonstrated at every opportunity that I am a self-motivated, organized and disciplined individual (...not! If I had been I would not) have worked as a Research Associate/Assistant for two years. From 2004 to 2009 I was a school teacher. That was the only time I was in a roomful of people who knew less than me. But then they asked me to teach higher grades. Like 5 and 6. There were some moments in teaching higher and complicated grade 6 Math when I started wishing for powers of invisibility. As I mentioned earlier I have acquired these powers now. Which proves my point about being disciplined and finishing what I start.
6\6 [closing]
I have demonstrated at every opportunity that I am a self-motivated, organized and disciplined individual (...not! If I had been I would not) have worked as a Research Associate/Assistant for two years. From 2004 to 2009 I was a school teacher. That was the only time I was in a roomful of people who knew less than me. But then they asked me to teach higher grades. Like 5 and 6. There were some moments in teaching higher and complicated grade 6 Math when I started wishing for powers of invisibility. As I mentioned earlier I have acquired these powers now. Which proves my point about being disciplined and finishing what I start.
6\6 [closing]
My zeal and acumen for Economics research, work with esteemed professors, an excellent graduate education and power of invisibility make me a highly qualified candidate for a PhD in Economics. Add to that, my other attributes that render me utterly unable to work at anything else, you have someone that you can bet will finish the PhD program even if it takes him ten years. I have nowhere else to go.
I look forward to a favorable response from the admissions committee of the Great American University.
I look forward to a favorable response from the admissions committee of the Great American University.
THE END
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* This one is factual. Not that other things are not, but this prof actually asked me to explain the z- test to him and after listening to my response said, "I think you should not be in this course. All your colleagues are at a different level of learning. But since this is 6 weeks into the course, I will pretend this meeting never happened."
^ I must apologize for this joke, really! It does reflect some people's (and presidents') attitude towards women, not mine.
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