Madras Again

I ate at a road side dosa place for first two weeks of my arrival in Chennai. It was run by an old couple. Their children, two boys in their twenties and a younger girl also helped them in running the everyday show.

As usual all my communications were limited to key words and numbers, since I still do not know Tamil. Shame on me. Well, that's topic for another blog. In this one interesting things happen on the day 9.

After 9 days, the lady, I called her akka, which means older sister, spoke to me in clear and well pronounced Hindi. She pattered away in good bambaiya Hindi as I looked at her with my mouth open.

When I did speak I only said Kyun? (Why?) She laughed a hearty laugh and her family joined in. 


**********


I was in Mahabalipuram, there are some really good granite rocks for climbing around there.

I reached very early and tried my hand at a few easy climbs, warming up for a decently steep climb. I had run 30 km a day before and I did have much faith in my toes. I could barely trust my hands: it had rained the morning: I would keep chalking them up and water hidden in cracks would keep wetting my hands. You get the picture, I was struggling and making excuses.

There was a pair of friends (males) watching me sitting near the carved elephants. When I reached the top, they seemed so far away.

I could not trust myself on the way down, but luckily there  was a tree for me to climb down on. And so I started my hesitant descent on the tree.

"Shoes Tamil Tamil" one of them shouted. I understood he was asking me to take my shoes off.

"No, no. Okay. Special rubber" I replied in my excellent Tamil.

"Grip-pa?" he replied in amazement and approval.

I got down and went to speak with them. They smiled and asked me in a friendly way: "training-ga?"

"Ama."

"Training two Tamil Tamil"

"Oh no, I am okay alone." I tried to explain. And added a joke "one man army," trying to be friendly to the uninteresting but interested locals. I come here and climb their rocks, they probably never think of climbing these. Maybe they will get inspired. Maybe one day they will also try climbing.

They spoke to each other for some time. "He going, one man army" said Arun pointing at Karthik. And I turned to see Karthik attempt the climb. I was worried I may have made it look too easy. "Rain, slippery" I tried to warn Karthik. But he did not listen, he slipped at the second foothold and slipped all the way down (8 feet or so) scratching his face on the way down. I felt rally bad. I tried to pick him up, but he refused help, a little embarrased.

Arun was laughing at him insensitively. I felt like saying something but I said nothing.

"I go" Arun said bragging. Foolhardy locals.

He made the whole climb in 30 second with bare feet. And screamed from the top. "Easy". Then he climbed down. Karthik and I urged him to take the tree after he was near the second from bottom foothold. He conceded.

I had still not got over the fact that an untrained local had done so much better than me. What do you do I asked. "Fisherman, two" he explained. Mahabalipuram is a fishing town! It all came together to me. 

I have been humbled many times before in life, and I should be smarter by now. But, well.

I hope to remember next time.

As a face saver, I should add this: "You army?" Arun asked me. It is one of the best compliments I have got in a very long time.

Higher Taxes for Wealthy or LGBT Rights?

Libertarianism is the moral principle that places human rights and preferences of each individual above the Greatest Happiness Principle which is to promote the capability of achieving highest happiness for the most number of people which is Utilitarianism.

While we can safely assume that Shahrukh Khan's life will not change much because of his next Crore Rupees, but if it is given to the hundreds of underserved children in form of school education or mid-day meal, these children then will have a real opportunity in life. This one crore will make a change that may last a whole life-time for a few hundred children. In other words, the incremental coercion of the wealthy for taxes is okay, because the resultant incremental benefit to the poor and the needy is much more.

Like the minority groups based on religion and sexual orientation, the wealthy are a minority in any democracy if seen purely in numbers. Let us assume that some of the wealthy have got their wealth by pure hard-work and intelligence, some luck of course, but no illegal means. Taxation for such people is a situation where the majority and their representative government coerces its way to the belongings of this minority, with the help of brute force such as Income Tax Dept. and the police. If one was to use the same principles as one would use for preserving other types of minority, taxes are unjust.

If we were to believe that taxation is right, then these individuals basically don't have all the right over the fruits of their labor and hard-work, that they somehow owe their income, i.e. the time and labor, in other words some part of their life, to the society. What we are also saying is that majority (not-wealthy) have rights over the lives and choices of minorities. What does this principle say about the rights and choices of  minority groups such as immigrants, religious minorities, and LGBT?

Whether we like it or not, Taxation is utilitarian thinking, the larger good principle in action. To think that utilitarian thinking and all the economics that follows it is wrong, is a folly. The world we live in is so much more complicated than I like to think every morning when I get out of my bed.

OMG sligshots at Ritualism

He takes a slingshot at the idol of Krishna! That it just hits the bell and misses the idol, is incidental - making a Bollywood film that supports atheism and cynicism in a country where people will persecute you for less.

Oh My God! or OMG is a Bollywood film released a week back. I got good reviews from reliable sources so I went to watch it[1]. For popular mainstream Bollywood, I liked it a lot. The strength of the story and it’s ‘purpose’ is the plot. And that is where it scores all the points. Technically (editing, cinematography, playwriting, dance, music) it is only below average.  

The protagonist Kanji bhai Lalji bhai played by Paresh Rawal has a small shop that sells articles of faith and antique value. He is a very inquisitive (and cunning) person who does not believe in god or ritualism. He blasphemes of god on the day of the birth of Krishna (Janmashthami) and in a mild earthquake his shop is razed down to rubble. When he makes an insurance claim it turns out his policy does not cover act of god. So to repay the debts and save his house from the debtors, he challenges God and His 'collection agencies' – religious trusts and places of worship, to repay his debts. The case is admitted in the High Court and it follows an interesting debate around if god exists and what is an act of god. Who is responsible for acts of god and who should repay the damage caused by god if insurance company has a clause that they do not cover such losses?

The plot is thin but, I felt, well put.  Much to an atheist’s delight, (and my show was full of them clapping and cheering at every line) the picture makes many jabs at ritualism and the concept of an omnipotent, omniscient God. At least in the first part.

Points for making the atheist functional illiterate in first part of the movie, and making him read books and investigate religion through these in the second! A bag of brownies for the impersonation of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar by revered Mithun Chakrabarti!

How does one make jabs at ritualism of many[2] prominent religions of India and still not get booked? Solution - have a god on your side. And I am not talking about the Muhurat and other rituals that most film makers in India would carry out even if they are making OMG. Make a character of God, and make this character agree with the views of the atheist. Omg, don’t I love the power of Performance? Enter “Krishna Vasudev Yadav, from Gokul” played by Akshay Kumar - “Krishna, because you are a Hindu. If you were a Muslim – the prophet; if you were a Christian - Jesus Christ”. 

What is a befitting Bollywood Climax to such a movie? That Kanji bhai breaks down idols of gods with an iron rod; and then present a moving speech in front of a crowd - asking them to never ever visit a place of worship and/or pay any religious (or spiritual) trusts. How oh how, without getting theatres burnt?

The idols should be of a lesser known god --> How about a freshly baked God? --> How about the atheist was made into a god by people and then he breaks his own idols? Brilliant! A conniving ingenious plot for a blasphemy orgy! 

Ending in a thoughtful and sensitive manner, when Krishna V Yadav of Gokul finally departs, He leaves a token behind! Kanji bhai instinctively wants to preserve it for memory when God speaks from inside him and asks him to get rid of the token symbol. Remember what I said about 'purpose' of the plot?

Of course my favourite is still The Book of Mormon with a cameo by Jesus Christ, God, and Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, but enjoyed Oh My God! thoroughly! If you haven’t seen it yet, watch it as soon as you can, it is not going to last much longer at the cinemas. Obviously.

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[1] Full disclosure I was afraid it maybe a remodelling of a movie made elsewhere, but in the credits it mentioned a Gujarati play. That relieved me. It could still be a remodelling of a story, but that is much better in my books.

[2] Jainism and Sikhism were missing, I felt bad :D. In fact Buddhism is also ritualistic and idol based in its practice in at least parts India. 

Globalisation

I was driving back from work on a motorcycle, and standing at a traffic signal, looking at girls driving by, dreaming of doing one or more of them one day, you know the usual stuff single men do standing bored at a traffic light. And enter two guys on a big huge motorcycle.

The rider has a very macho hair do, and a macho beard. The pillion rider has long hair. They are not above 20-21 of age. They are absorbed in a serious conversation with each other with the loud carelessness of Hindi speakers in the Tamil speaking part of the country.

Pillion Rider, PR:
Isliye main Narendra Modi ko hi support karunga. Banda logon ke bare main sochta to hai.
[So that is why I, support Narendra modi. He at least cares about the people.]

Rider, R:
Manmohan ka to bas naam hi hai, ch****ya sala.
[Manmohan Singh just has a big name, stupid person.]

PR:
Tujhe pata hai log uska naam itna kyon maante hai?
[Do you know why Manmohan Singh is so popular?]

R:
Uske paas koi badi degree hai na...
[Because he has a big degree...]

PR:
Uske pass badi degreee toh hain par sale ka bheja uski g**d main hain.
[That is not the only reason, he does have a big degree, but his brain is in his a*s]

R and PR laugh in unison

PR:
Abe, sirf isliye hi nahin. Tujhe pata hai jab 1991 main desh globalise ho raha tha, tab Manmohan Singh vitt mantri tha.
[Not only because of that (big degree). You know when India was globalised, Manmohan Singh was the Finance Minister.]

The Signal turned green, and they moved out of earshot. By the look of it they continued the discussion. The only English words they used in this conversation were: Degree and Globalisation.
[Academic] Degrees, they don't care much about. It does not seem to have correlation with intelligence, innovation, entrepreneurship, or leadership.
Globalisation - they got almost right. The idea in 1991 was economic liberalisation. Of course some people may argue liberalisation leads to higher degree of globalisation.

I was indeed very happy to see the use of Hindi words such as vitt mantri. Of course some other words titillated me. I wish they could carry out the whole conversation in Hindi, or at least had a good enough English Vocabulary.

Coloured in Kabir

कबीरा खड़ा बाज़ार[1] में मांगे सब की खैर
ना काहू से दोस्ती, ना काहू से बैर ।

Standing in the market[1], Kabir asks for everyone's well being,
friendship with none, enmity with none.


[1] of life, not a temple, not a home, a nice and secular market place

Barish - Hindi

 From the Hindi movie Thoda Sa Romani Ho Jayen
- लेखक:  कमलेश पाण्डेय

बारिश जो अस्मान से आती है
बूंदों में गाती है
पहाड़ों से फिसलती है
नदियों में चलती है
नेहरों में मचलती है
कुँए पोखर से मिलती है
खपरैलों पर गिरती है
गलियों में फिरती है
मोड़ पर संभालती है
फिर आगे निकलती है


वो ही बारिश , 
यह बारिश अक्सर गीली होती है
इसे पानी भी कहते है
उर्दू में आब
मराठी में पानी
तमिल में तन्नी
कन्नड़ में नीर और बंगला में 
                                            जोल कहते है
संस्कृत में जिसे वारी नीर अमृत पेय अम्बु भी कहते है
ग्रीक में इसे aqua puraa
अंग्रेजी में इसे water भी कहते है
french में eau
और chemistry  में H2O कहते है


यह पानी आँख से ढलता है तो आंसू कहलाता है
लेकिन चेहरे पे चढ़ जाये तो रुबाब बन जाता है
कोई शर्म से पानी -पानी हो जाता है
और कभी कभी यह पानी सरकारी फाईलों में अपने कुँए समेत चोरी हो जाता है
पानी तोह पानी है , पानी जिंदगानी है
इसीलिए जब रूह की नदी सुखी हो
मन का हिरन प्यासा हो
दिमाग में लगी हो आग
और प्यार की गागर खली हो,

तब,
और तब में हमेशा, यह बारिश नाम का गिला पानी लेने की राय देता हूँ ।

Chandu ki Cycle (Hindi)

चंदू  की  साइकिल  बिल्कुल चंदू जैसी थी, 
चलती थी तो चंदू जैसे चुन चुन  करती रहती  थी,
handle उसका चंदू के हाथों  जैसा  ही  हल्का  था, 
pedal उसके चंदू के पैरों जैसे ही पतले थे, 
सीट उसकी चंदू के  पिछवाड़े  जैसी  चौड़ी  थी, 
carrier उसका चंदू  के  career जैसा  ही  छोटा  था ।
पर चंदू  की  दोस्त  वही  थी, वही  उसके  साथ  रहती  थी,
चंदू  के  भारी वज़न  को  बहुत  ही  आसानी  से  सहती  थी ।


लेकिन...
ऐसा  दिन  आया  जब  साइकिल  उसकी  टूट  गई,
आता देख  सांड  आगे  से  चंदू  से  वो  छूट  गई ।
ठीक  नहीं  कर  पाया  जब  montu mechanic  भी  उसको,
चंदू  के  daddy  ने  उसे  बेच  दिया  कबाड़ी को ।
चंदू  सब  कुछ  भूल  किताबों  में  डूब  गया  ऐसे,
जैसे  किसी  पुरानी  ख्वाहिश  को  सच्चा करना  था  उसे ।
फिर  जब  चंदू  बड़ा  हुआ, तो  अपनी  first कमाई  से  वो नई साइकिल  लेकर  आया,
अपनी  नई  मिली  चतुराई  से ।


लेकिन ... 
नई साइकिल  भी  बिल्कुल  चंदू  जैसी  ही थी,
कितिनी  भी  कोशिश  कर  लो  चुन  चुन  करती  रहती  थी,
सीट  उसकी  चंदू के पिछवाड़े  जैसी  चौड़ी  थी,
carrier उसका  चंदू  के  career जैसा ही छोटा था ।




सौजन्य 'उड़ान' (हिंदी फिल्म) २०१० 
लेखक: विक्रमादित्य मोटवाने, अनुराग कष्यप, कुमार देवांशु, सत्यांशु सिंह 

*updated* Hindi "Sure Thing"

Credits:
This play was written by an American writer David Ives.
This play was translated jointly by Irfana Majumdar and I, to be performed at Nirman Theatre Studio.

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