I weight a tonne

Running - a poem

I run a lot, since I like to run.
You should try it too,  it's a lot of fun.

I start running early at 5 am,
to beat the Chennai heat,
That is just something I like to say,
watch the sun rise is the real treat!

I hear the morning azaan,
when I run by the Adyar mosque.
I smell the fresh sambar,
cooked by the girl in blue frock.

On beaches of Chennai, my home,
New Delhi through the smog and din.
Through Hong Kong once, I had a stop-over,
I run in any city I am in.

In the french quarters of Pondicherry,
through the morning markets of Bombay,
in Santa Cruz, so many times,
through San Francisco too, but only one day.

I ran with a policeman once,
who was much taller than I am.
She had magical stories to tell
of far away Asom and Mizoram.

I have run with a few children,
who are no good at it;
but if someone else runs past them,
could they just watch and sit?

I run with this dog everyday,
in the morning coolness she basks.
She owns and reigns the streets,
before people start their tasks.

Dogs are a considerate lot,
they run around me to-and-fro.
They would leave me far behind if they didn't;
oh! I run so slow.

I ran with a horse one day,
I beat him at a 5 k by a shot.
The horse was only walking by the way,
while I ran with all I'd got!

I run across people who look at me,
And loudly wonder why I run.
I look at people who zip past me,
and silently ponder why I can't.

When that happens, I feel bad and tired.
But then I remember why I run:
It's not because I am good at it,
but because it is so much fun!

Why Bother With Sex?

I would never think of the phrase ‘why bother’ in the same line of thought as sex, but I am a perv. It seems that some people are holier than me and they do. I was searching for articles about food in South Asia on JSTOR when I bumped into this article about sex and evolution titled “Why Bother?”[1]

In the essay Mr. Charlesworth writes: The early fathers of Christian Church [anyone could have guessed they would come up in this essay] were sorely troubled by the question of why god had not provided human beings with “some harmless [emphasis provided] mode of vegetation” with which to propogate themselves.

They were sorely troubled. Poking young boys leaves you sore. I will agree that many of them wanted to go to all-male orgies, but I will not agree, and I know this for sure, they were not vegetationarian. That is just a mis-print or confusing it with priests of hindu or some strange religion like that.

If you hadn’t guessed it yet, sex is the most prevalent mode of reproduction in all multicellular animals. And plants. There are very few plants (<0.1%) and animals (only a few dozen species) that reproduce without having some fun, on the way to leaving the babies with the mothers.

Most asexual species seem very recent in evolution, only a few have had long enough time to diversify. Most celebrated of these are Bdelloid Rotifer. Yeah. They are celebrated. That’s the kind of parties they go to: vegetationarian ones. Poor Rotters, even dung beetles got a more exciting deal.

Now Mr. Charlesworth is not very original in asking- why should there be any males? This question may send a wave of happiness down some types of feminists, most married women, and all lezzies. Why don’t females just re-produce exact replicas of themselves, instead of, for example having males to interfere in the matter of exact replicas? Imagine that scenario. No more “you are as lazy as your father” talks. And complete accountability of genes. No more “who taught you to act like that, not me!”

So Mr Charlesworth… he wants me to call him Brian. So Brian explains why should this (no males) have happened, or could have happened very easily. If there was a mutation in a female that they could reproduce asexually, mathematically they would very quickly over take the population of sexual females. Especially if the mutation was happening on Halle Berry.  One Halle Berry for each male within a few generations! Bye bye wife! But then Helle Berry would not need males for reproduction. Only for fun.

If that can happen so easily why hasn’t it happened in the billion years of evolution of life?

Wait, these are your choices:

     Because god created us, evolution is a farce

     Because the mutation happened on the Ms. Dis-sexy and Obnoxious!

     Because we are the 99%

     It depends

If you chose any of the above. you are wrong. Yes, it does not even depend.

You see, if a species inbreeds, it needs a long time to diversify. It has to wait for the bolt of lightening or the spider bite or the uranium exposure, for many generations. In the meanwhile they go on breeding with less efficiency and digging their own grave.

The other day I was on a porn website and one f$%&-ing stupid advertisement there said: “Still watching porn? Get laid tonight.” That really turned me off. But that is not what they mean when they say Inbreeding Depression. That would be erectile dysfun.. anyway.

Even as early as Charles Darwin, evolutionary scientists have noted that when species inbreed they produce less efficient offspring. Babies that have less seeds less tolerant of the changes in environment etc. That is how they produced the depressed kings and queens of Europe. And suicide bombers.

A big advantage of sexual reproduction is variability. Other than cloud mirrors in domestic arguments about whose genes lead to self-destructive behavior in a child, variability also affords a larger chance of survival when the adverse circumstances strike. In long summers without food, in floods, in sudden temperature changes due to earthquakes or volcanic dust, more variation meant that at least some individuals of the species will survive and go on.

 

Homo Sapiens have survived because of diversity! As a species we should celebrate diversity because diversity has sponsored us the tickets to the fair. And since I have done a great job of convincing you to bother with sex, put up a great performance about the way we got here at every opportunity!

Still watching porn? Get laid tonight!

---

[1] Charlesworth, B. (Spring 2007). Why Bother. Daedalus, 136(2), pp. 37-47.

The Destroyer

Termite will always remind me of my visit to Dudhwa National Park on the India Nepal Border. There I could see that everything feeds on something else. At any time a good fraction of the forest is dying and made into food for others. On this margin termites are rulers.

On my motorcycle trip last week, driving in the jungles over the hills at twilight, I passed an eerie sight. A 10 -11 feet tall termite hill was covered with a yellow tarpaulin in a semi-holy fashion. And an ominous trishul stood guard in front of it [1].

Of course! The destroyers!

They live in hills or in the nether-grounds. In these hills the companions are poisonous snakes and scorpions. They work day and night; uncomplaining, mast, they live covered in dust. They are very angry creatures, who should not be disturbed when at work, else you might have to face their might.

Where the life starts to dwindle, they start their dance, balancing, controlling forces of death and decay, playing loud their drum, singing raucous songs, laughing at the miseries of life.

Uncelebrated they absorb the immensity of death and let it out slowly in one thin stream, so that the rest of the jungle can convert it back to life.


[1] This symbolises Shiv, the destroyer in the trinity of Hindu mythology